I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
