Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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