im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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