I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
