How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
