Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
