Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
