Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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