Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
