He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
