he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
