I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
