I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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