kristin has been a bad kristin
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
