dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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