On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
