We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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