So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
