i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
