it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
