I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
