chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
