i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
its not stalking. its research.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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