is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
