I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize