shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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