Me too!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
