the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
