After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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