We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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