I want to stick my p in your. b.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
