Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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