yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
