I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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