I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
