Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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