I feel like abortions should bother me more
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
