Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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