Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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