Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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