Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
