first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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