babies were throwing up all over the place
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
