He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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