So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize