It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize