yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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