you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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