I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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