He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
