What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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