her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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