So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
