STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
