Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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