My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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