Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am mentally ready for anal.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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