Small penises have feelings too.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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