Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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