There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
