does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
